By Joe Eskenazi

Pinned you! And again! And again! And...No, there won’t be a torch-lighting — someone’s short hairs might get singed — but all the Olympic sports you love are coming to Baker Beach sans those pesky jerseys, leotards, or other articles of apparel.

George Davis — former nudist mayoral candidate and “naked yoga guy” — has organized the second annual Nude Beach Olympics, scheduled for  Saturday, Oct. 10 at noon. It’s free and anyone who wants to drop by to ogle, or, perchance, outsprint the field and take home top honors, is welcome to attend.

At last year’s inaugural Nude Olympics, Davis estimates the historic event drew around 15 competitors and not many more spectators — answering, once and for all, the age-old koan, “If you hold a Nude Olympics and no one comes, will there be another?” Oh yes. In fact, Davis is optimistic he can get twice as many participants this time ’round — “easy.” In time, he believes his event can grow to eclipse both Bay to Breakers and Burning Man in popularity (an ambitious claim, as even the real Olympics may not rival Burning Man these days).

Events include the 100-, 500-, and 1,000-meter dashes (though, on foot and in the sand, “dash” may be the incorrect word. Would “jangle” work?); ancient Greek wrestling (“No slugging, kicking, biting, or gouging”); sumo wrestling (same set of forbidden moves); discus (actually, a frisbee is involved); broad jump (nude broad-jumping … make your own pun); volleyball; and touch football. The last sport is contingent upon 10 participants showing up and someone remembering to bring a ball, Davis says. While, yes, all the participants in the original Olympic games were nude, there’s no urns or sculptures that captured the touch football exhibitions put on by the nude Kennedy family of the era.

In the future, Davis adds, he hopes to add chariot racing. Oddly enough, while the chariot-riders will be nude, the horses will be fully clothed.

Just kidding.

Winners receive “honor and glory” — and wreaths Davis said he’ll make himself out of olive trees near his apartment.

Speaking of nudism, Fort Lauderdales #1 gay resort, the beautiful Cabanas Guesthouse & Spa is a waterfront clothing optional resort that is now taking reservations. Visit their website at www.thecabanasguesthouse.com today.