1.)  While teaching your third grade elementary school kids how to do their Times-tables
2.)  While speaking at a parent teacher conference for which the parents are concerned about reports that you had an erection while teaching their kids their Times-tables.  (See also #18)
3.)  While performing your yearly duty as a “Mall Santa” during the holidays
4.)  While collecting money and ringing your bell for the Salvation Army
5.)  When you are placed in a holding cell after getting arrested
6.)  When you are trick or treating. (This especially applies if your over the age of 15)
7.)  During the first part of church when you have to hug everyone and shake their hand
8.)  When you are getting your yearly physical and the doctor asks you to turn your head and cough. 
9.)  While Cow-tipping
10.) While watching the Monkeys fling their poo at the zoo
11.) While watching Andy Griffith with your granddad.
12.) While giving your date a goodbye hug on your first night out
13.) As you’re slowly wading back out of the water towards your friends after a duck hunt
14.) While teeing off at the golf course
15.) While selling the local neighborhood kids ice cream out of your truck.
16.) While giving out-of-towners directions to the nearest gas station at their vehicle window
17.) While playing twister
18.) During your first official presentation in your Public Speaking class.
19.) While taking POW’s hostage as a United States Marine.
20.) While watching this video (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SeMJOPlK-0E)
21.)  When you meet the cast of  “Jersey Shore” for the first time and Mike shows you “the Situation”
22.) While performing the “rear naked choke” on your opponent during a UFC match
23.) During your turn on American Idol if you are one of the finalists and the viewers are about to vote
24.) During any point in time a Miley Cyrus song comes on the radio.
25.) While watching footage on any natural disaster occurrence  (9/11, Hurricane Katrina or the earthquake in Haiti for example)
26.) While feeding your goldfish ( you could knock over the bowl)
27.) While performing your part of  “the wave” as it comes around to you at your favorite sporting event
28.) While accompanying a friend to the cemetery to show respect to their loved one who has passed away.
29.) While standing up from the table during an intense game of Jenga (if you knock over the stack with it, it’s doubly awkward because you lose the game as well as your dignity, and that’s just embarrassing)
30.) While you are getting fitted for your Wedding Tux
31.) While purchasing Girl Scout Cookies at the table out in front of Walmart
32.) While hugging your great grandmother at your family reunion
33.) Right after you turn around to fist pump after bowling a strike while out with friends
34.) After getting a “triple kill” while playing Call of Duty with your friends
35.) While going through the drive-thru at Krystals at 4 in the morning
36.) While getting baptised
37.) While taking an eye exam, and he asks “Better, or worse?”  Cause by the looks of your pants, its better.
38.) While competing in the national hula hoop competition. (Although it might prevent the hoop from falling)
39.) While quoting any Keanu Reeves movie
40.) While taking a dump (Am I right guys?)
41.) While driving a school bus for the mentally handicapped children
42.) While shooting a free throw in a high school basketball playoff game
43.) While being attacked by a bear
44.) During your first day as Event Coordinator at a nudist colony
45.) Anytime on Martin Luther King Jr. Day
46.) While performing a circumsision
47.) Upon finding out the fourth Twilight book will possibly be two movies and not just one
48.) While videotaping the birth of your child
49.) While deciding how to redeem your tickets at the Chuck-E-Cheese prize counter
50.) While telling your son that his dog was just hit by a car

Please feel free to elaborate, add to and/or comment on any of the following. It’s not just recommended, but actually encouraged.